Holly and Mistletoe
by ForestFireSong
Summary: Leave it to John to think it was a good idea to do a Secret Santa for his and Karkat's entire extended group of friends- all thirty-four of them. This was without taking into account all the relationship drama, jealousy, and general dysfunction of the group that would most certainly come to boil. All of this, in the face of the largest snowstorm of the century. 'Tis the season!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ayyy first Homestuck fic**

**So I did this sort of holiday last year for Hetalia and since it was fun, I decided to do the same for Homestuck. I'll try to update daily until the 25****th****, but it'll be difficult, and I'm already a day behind T_T**

**The pairings for this fic will be DaveJohn, Rosemary, Dirkjake, Janeroxy, Gamtav/slight Tavvris, Erisol, Karezi/Nepkat, Mitula, Meuloz, Cronkri, Gillfronds, Jadefef, EquAra, Rufuss or whatever you even call that ship. I think that's it for now?**

**Please tell me what you think! (the first chapter is pretty slow for introductory purposes.)**

It beginning to become a well-known truth that the Egbert-Crocker household was not meant to hold as many people as it was holding at the moment, at least not in one space. Not only was the living room rapidly filling up, but the driveway and street area was becoming clogged with cars as more and more people streamed through the doorway.

John and Jane stood by the Christmas tree, the strings of rainbow lights blinking, and the spoon ornament Jane had made when she was five digging into John's back. Together they regarded the growing number of people in their house; their father had retreated back into their kitchen, about five cakes and ten batches of Christmas cookies too short.

Jade, Jake, Dirk and Dave were spread out over their couch; the Harley-Englishes had been there well before people had started showing up, as the two families were practically related. Calliope perched on the arm of the couch, talking cheerfully to Dirk, while Caliborn sat on the floor complaining about something or the other.

From there came the Pyrope sisters, Terezi making a beeline for Dave and Latula insisting on a high-five from everyone in the general vicinity. The Captors were right behind them, and Mituna joined Latula on their quest for high fives and general "radness" (Sollux, in comparison to his brother, did not look like he could give any less of a crap). The Serkets came next, from which point Aranea started to talk Jake's ear off, much to Dirk's disapproval. Dave had the exact same look on his face when Vriska pulled the same tactic on John.

The Vantases came next, and it was getting harder to hear now that there were two preachy blabbermouths in one room. Kankri was talking about the evils of Christmas or something like that, and the look on Karkat's face showed that he'd had to listen to the vent the entire way over. And with the Vantases came the Maryams, each looking as frazzled by Kankri's incessant word vomit as Karkat did.

Then there were the Amporas, their entrance defined by Eridan giving his cake a dramatic flip and Cronus hitting on the first person he ran into (Porrim, who kneed him without a second thought). The Makaras arrived with Gamzee already smoking something and Kurloz smiling in a vaguely creepy manner. John could've sworn there was an outline of a pentagram on the back of his hand.

/Great. We're inviting Satan into our house./

The Megidos were next, followed by the Nitrams. While Aradia and Tavros were talking happily to one another, there was an obvious tension between Rufioh and Damara, owing to the former's look of profuse discomfort. The Peixes came right after, Feferi placing herself between Eridan and Sollux while Meenah found herself a spot right next to Aranea.

The last people to push through the doorway before the flood of people ended were the Zahhaks and Leijons, the two sets of best friends bundled up heavily against the cold. By now nearly all available sitting room was gone, so they found places for themselves on the staircase. It was then the flow of people entering the Egbert-Crocker house ceased; now the living room was abuzz with their voices.

"John," he turned to Jane, who was struggling to be heard. "Do you have any idea where Roxy and Rose are?"

"They're not here?" Scanning the crowd, John found several blond heads, none of them belonging to the two Lalondes. "Huh, you're right. Uh..."

"I'm certain we told them, and they definitely know their way to our house...hm..." Jane frowned. "Should we just get started anyway?"

"Yeah, I think so." It was weird the Lalondes weren't there yet, but for all they knew, Roxy might've seen a cat along the way. Then they'd have stopped, and after realizing how cute it was, taken it home and knitted it little cat sweaters and other adorable nonsense. It was completely plausible given the the two of them, so John wasn't really worried.

He turned to face the crowd of people. "So, we, uh..." John's voice got lost amongst all the others, and it was clear barely anyone save Jane was listening to him. "Hey, guys-"

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" With that single statement, everyone fell silent. John winced; he was grateful for Karkat's help, but definitely had a pair of lungs on him.

"Thanks Karkat! So, yeah. The whole Secret Santa was me and Karkat's idea- well, and Kankri too- but since this is Jane and mine's house we'll be running the thing. So! Secret Santas are really simple- everybody picks a name, Jane and I write it down, and everybody has to give some sort of gift to their person by the 25th. Or sooner, if you're going to be gone."

"I was under the impression I was receiving gifts, not giving any." Caliborn spoke up from where he was crouched on the floor.

"Dude, I think you've totally missed the point of a Secret Santa." Dirk laughed slightly, poking Caliborn in the head while he spewed profanities. Calliope sighed deeply, already looking fed up with her twin.

"I'll make sure he gets a present for whoever he gets, or else." She assured John. He smiled at her, completely reassured; if anyone could corral Caliborn, it was Calliope. She was sweet as they came and perpetually friendly, but that was a case of silk covering steel. John had complete faith in her abilities when it came to controlling her brother.

"So, um, continuing on... If you don't give your person a gift, I'll kick your butt. Or Karkat will kick your butt for me. Or, if we're experiencing a severe lack of holiday spirit and general empathy, Kankri will give you one of his holiday sermons." The general look of horror shared by everyone gathered made John even more confident that no one would skip out on giving a gift that year. "I thought so."

"I take offense to that," Kankri spoke up from the back. "In fact, I'd say that's very trigger-"

"Kanny," Porrim took Kankri's face in her hands, abruptly ending his sentence. She gave the pained and exasperated look of someone who'd been forced to put up with lectures on triggers for far too long. "Stop talking."

Jane and John shared a bemused look before shrugging. As long as Kankri wasn't talking about triggers, just muttering under his breath to Cronus, they would be okay. Jane pulled down a Santa hat filled with little paper slips from the mantle. "I guess that's everything, then." she said. "Time to start picking names-"

The doorbell rang at that moment, halting Jane's sentence and causing her to sigh in exasperation. She had finals next week, and they really needed to get things moving.

Kurloz, who was standing closest to the door, opened it, greeting the guests (the Lalondes, who'd finally shown up) with his ever-present, close-lipped smile. Both Rose and Roxy smiled back at him; both of them were sporting large grins and appeared somewhat unsteady, which, when it came to the Lalondes, could only mean one thing.

John and Jane exchanged a look. Gamzee was already high, or in the process of becoming so, and now Rose and Roxy looked to be rather drunk. And it was only the middle of day.

"Heeey, Janey, sorry we're late," Roxy spoke loudly as she made her way over to the Christmas tree. "Sorry, Johnny-boy," she added, slinging an arm around John and the other around Jane.

"We just got a little...distracted." Rose giggled for no apparent reason and flung herself into Kanaya's lap, causing the other girl to blush profusely and start whispering urgently into Rose's ear. The blonde just laughed it off, sounding incredibly drunk and attracting everyone's attention. After all, Roxy already had a reputation as the girl who mixed vodka and lemonade right on school grounds and could whip up cocktails professionally despite being only a senior in high school, but Rose was known to be the sober of the two.

Apparently that wasn't the case this time, though.

"Just how drunk /are/ you?" Jane whispered to Roxy, who was still leaning on her and John and flashing random winks to Jake and Dirk.

"That's a long story." Roxy sighed contentedly, running her fingers through the siblings' hair. "Eggnog, Janey. Need I say more? Besides, Rose's got it way worse."

"You've got that right," John muttered, watching Rose bat at Kanaya's dangly earrings like a cat, while the Maryam looked two parts concerned and extremely annoyed.

"Roxy, you know we talked about this-" Jane started, but Roxy waved her off with a flap of her hand.

"Nah, it's okay. We can talk later, now let's get this Secret Santa shtick started!" Roxy reached for the Santa hat plunging her hand in and pulling out a little folded slip of paper. Her face broke into a grin as she unfolded it. "Hey, I got-"

"Roxy, that's not how it works." John pointed out, wondering why everybody they invited seemed to have no idea how Secret Santa's actually operated. "Now just whisper it me and I'll write it down for you."

After Roxy had done so- she had gotten Nepeta, which was bound to go well, given how they both had an affinity for anything feline- John turned back to the crowd of people, who had turned back to their own conversations after the Lalondes' misdirection. Thankfully Karkat didn't have to yell again, as all it took was John clearing his throat to capture everyone's attention.

"Now that Roxy's gone, I guess that means everyone else can go- whoa-" at his words, a veritable flood of people surged forward, clearly not understanding the concept of 'one-at-time'. John was what one might call vertically challenged, and thus was fully prepared to be overwhelmed, possibly trampled before his own Christmas tree.

_And to think, just before Christmas...will Jane get the cookbook I gave her? Will Dave get the My Little Pony coloring book and understand its irony? All the cake left uneaten- and let it be said on that day, in his own home, John Ebgert was stepped on till he died..._

John was fully braced for impact, and rather surprised when it didn't come. He glanced up hesitantly, and saw that Gamzee, easily one of the tallest people present, had plucked the Santa hat from Jane and was holding it above everyone else.

"Got it for you, sis." he said to Jane, giving her a sleepy smile. He picked a slip of paper, examined it for a moment, and then leaned over to whisper in Jane's ear. She nodded slightly, marking it down on their notepad, before shooing him off. Jane and Gamzee were a weird sort of friends- he'd been in her Home Ec. class and, from what John had heard, continually slipped weird things into his baking, as well as trying to offer her the same substances. Jane refused to let anything tarnish her tried-and-true Crocker family recipes, but had a decent amount of respect for the Makara, as she did for anyone who could make a pie as good as he could. Now they exchanged baked goods with each other, Jane's cupcakes frosted impeccably and the tops of Gamzee's pies dyed bright blue with food coloring.

"We should all up and make a line," Gamzee suggested, and upon his words, everyone else did as he said, since somehow Gamzee had that effect on people. From there everything went smoothly, with Jane and John recording each person, including themselves.

By the time they had finished getting everyone down, snow had started falling lightly outside, piling on the windowsill. John leaned against the frosted windowpane, watching everyone go at the food that had been set out (a good number of cakes and cookies that he refused to touch, all done up in the appropriate holiday fashion) and glanced down at the notepad.

Thirty four people. They had to be insane to think that this would go smoothly.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Whew, a lot of stuff going on here! I'm trying to give each person/pair their own "storyline" to contend with, but that makes for lots of skipping around and possibly longish chapters. Oh well, more holiday fluff.**

**Also, Jade/Rose, in this case pale but really in any quadrant, needs more love. I don't know what's up with the Dirkjohn though. **

**Thanks to all who have reviewed, followed, etc.! Please tell me what you think ^_^**

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><p>"Jane. Hey, Jane. Jaaaane." John tapped a beat on the doorframe, standing before the threshold of his sister's room. She was on her bed bent over a textbook and probably not in the mood to be bothered. He continued tapping anyway. "Jane!"<p>

Finally he managed to catch the dark-haired girl's attention, as she glanced up from her book to stare at him over the rims of her red glasses. "What is it, John?"

"Um, are you at good stopping point?"

"Well, you've already distracted me." she said, but then smiled slightly. "But I've been meaning to take a break. What is it?"

John entered her room, which was tidy as usual, but had a bit of holiday flair per keeping with the season- her window had an electrical candle set up, which made her window glow cheerfully at nighttime, and all of her calendars were flipped to Decemeber, accompanied by multiple photos of various wintery scenes. After all, Jane really/ loved holidays, and all the wonderful baking and, in winter's case, cute sweaters they brought with them.

He flopped own on her bed, and Jane, shaking her head slightly, moved her biology textbook over so he would have more room. "So?" she prompted.

"Well, it's about the Secret Santa thing..." John began. He stopped when he saw Jane staring at him. "What?"

"We started that...what, two days ago? Three? Isn't it a bit soon to be focusing on it? And don't you have exams?"

"That's exactly why I'm focusing on it now." John replied. "It's the weekend and I don't have exams tomorrow, so I decided that rather than wallow in my impending doom I could instead, you know, get some ideas for my Secret Santa. I didn't even say anything about buying anything, geez."

"Okay, okay." Jane closed her book; she never wanted to read anything about cell membranes again and gladly welcomed John's distraction. "So why are you coming to me? Who did you get, by the way... I don't remember."

John sat up a bit now that Jane was less engrossed in her textbook. "Aradia's older sister- Damara, right? I'm coming to you because I really don't know her that well. Huh, that's probably gonna be the case for a lot of people, because of the age difference...we didn't plan this out as well as we thought we did, did we..."

"That's the point of a Secret Santa, John. You have to get creative." Jane told him. "But I understand where you're coming from. Don't worry, I'll help you."

"Cool. What should I do? Doesn't she like, only speak Japanese or something?"

"Believe me, she speaks English very well. But yes, like the rest of the Megidos, she is fluent in Japanese as well. Actually, she loves anime and manga and all of that..." Jane pushed her glasses up her nose. "Although I'm not entirely sure what kind. I don't know if I want to know."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Jane looked like she was halfway between extreme discomfort and bursting out laughing. "Well, I know on good conscience that some of her favorite activities are rather...perverse."

The words hung between the two siblings before John spoke up again. "I saw her shove her hand down Rufioh's pants before."

"Ah yes, she was probably joking. Really, she's copped a feel on at least half the grade by now. It's practically initiation for new students."

"What am I supposed to do then?" John said, the thoughts flying through his head definitely not of the innocent kind. "Wrap myself up naked and have you put a bow on my head?"

"Don't do that John, Dave would be upset."

"Wha-"

"In all honesty," Jane said, picking up her book again. "I'm not really the best person to ask when it comes to what Damara would or would not prefer. I would stick with the manga idea though, that's probably what would make her happiest. Unless you can get pictures of Meenah showering."

John blinked several times and Jane laughed slightly.

"Joking John, I'm joking. They hate each other. Not that it matters. If I were you, I would call Dirk and ask him. He knows about all of that stuff."

"Okay. You know what, I think I'll do that." John hopped off of Jane's bed, heading for his own room. "I'm too young to be caught buying porn anyway, maybe he can find a way to get it for me for free."

"There's the spirit," Jane called, once again buried in her textbook.

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><p>"Rose, Rosie, wake up." Roxy stood by the edge of Rose's bed, talking in a quiet, gentle tone. The bedcovers did not stir, not even when Roxy poked them. The blonde heaved a great sigh, and then, with a quiet, "sorry Rose", ripped them back.<p>

Beneath the bedcovers, Rose twitched and let out a slight moan. Fully dressed, she blocked out the sun with her hands and muttered curses while kicking feebly at Roxy.

"Why would you do that," she groaned, lifting a hand to glare at Roxy. Her makeup was smeared, dark eyeliner smudged around her eyes like a raccoon.

"Because I'm the only one in the house not drunk and when that's happening you _know _we've got a problem," Roxy said loudly.

"You're always some part drunk, Roxy," Rose mumbled, turning over and stuffing her face in the pillow. Her words came out muffled and Roxy had to strain to hear them. "And I'm not drunk, I'm hungover. There's a difference."

"Damn right you're hungover. I couldn't tell who drank more last night, you or Mom. Enough to make make both of you puke your guts up, that's for sure. Normally I'd have more sympathy, but maybe this'll teach ya not to do it again."

"That," Rose said, peeking up at Roxy, "is one the most hypocritical things I've ever heard. You are constantly drinking and yet," she groaned again "when I do it you treat me like some sort of criminal."

Roxy squinted at her younger sister. "Don't pull that," she said. "I've been trying to quit, and yeah, I slip up, but that's not the problem. I don't mind a martini every once and awhile, or getting smashed at a party, but you were at a fricken' violin recital last night. Did Mom pull a few drinks to celebrate or what? I don't even remember, I was in bed."

"No- I mean yes, but it wasn't celebratory. Ugh," Rose sat up in bed, rubbing her head. Her blonde hair was a mess and it irritated her. Her room may have been a mess, as were many of her relationships, but if there was one thing Rose Lalonde never let go awry it was her hair. "My head's pounding, but I guess it's good that you woke me up when you did."

"I'll get you some Advil." Roxy offered. "Trust me, I'm an expert at hangovers. I could write a paper on this stuff. Greasy food settles your stomach, for starters, so I'll make you some bacon and we can-"

"No time." Rose climbed from bed, pulling off her knee-high black socks and tossing them on another pile of clothes. "I've got to get changed."

"Where are you going?"

"I promised Jade I would go shopping with her today." Rose replied, searching the floor for some clean clothes. After the previous night she really was looking forward to seeing the other girl- Jade could pick up on emotions, yes, but she was also sensitive enough to know when Rose didn't want to talk. And to be honest, if Rose wasn't going to be in bed all day, nursing a headache, then looking at scarves and gaming consoles with Jade, and discussing their Secret Santas would be next on the list. Although her head really did hurt. She would have to take up Roxy's suggestion and pop a couple Advil.

"Rose, you like hell." Roxy stated bluntly. "And as the de facto parent in the house, with Mom drinking her ass off like usual, Imma have to put down both metaphorical feet on this shopping-"

"Roxy." Rose looked up her sister, holding a lavender skirt and matching scarf and giving her the most pleading look she could manage. "Please just let me go. I don't want to let Jade down."

Roxy hesitated for a moment before sighing deeply. She leaned down and picked up a stick of eyeliner from where it lay amongst Rose's other cosmetics and tossed it at her. "Just make sure to redo your makeup, 'cause I am not letting you out in public like that."

With a victorious smile, Rose caught it.

* * *

><p>ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:15 P.M.<p>

EB: hey dave are you there?

EB: i need to talk to you.

EB: well, actually i need to talk to your bro. what's his chumhandle?

EB: crap, i guess i could've just asked jane. that can be option no. 2.

EB: dave?

TG: chill out john i'm here

TG: all ready to answer your inquiries or whatever

TG: except i've got to ask

TG: why do you want bro's chumhandle

TG: are you guys having an illicit affair or something

TG: because this would be a pretty terrible way to go about it, asking me for his chumhandle out of the blue

TG: if you want to hit on my bro you've got to cover your tracks better john

TG: i swear it's always the dorky bespectacled move-nerds with him

TG: or some equally horse-obsessed freak or whatnot not that i can really fault him for these tastes but damn doesn't he know jakes gonna cry when he finds out that he's cheating on him

EB: dave what are you even saying anymore!

EB: i'm not hitting on dirk, that would be weird.

EB: like really weird.

EB: i need to ask him for advice concerning the Secret Santa thing.

TG: you didn't get him did you

EB: no, but i still need his help.

TG: you know what, why don't you just come over

TG: jakes here and they were going to go out or something so maybe dirk can take you to one of his weird anime stores

EB: actually if that's okay with him that would be really great. might as well get it done now,.

TG: cool

TG: oh and if you want to know its timaeusTestified

EB: what?

TG: his chumhandle

TG: in case you need more privacy to talk about your hidden feelings

EB: good bye dave.

TG: hahaha

ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:21 P.M.

* * *

><p>"Rose! Rose!" The blonde was not the only one to look up; Jade's voice was so loud that it caused several other people in the coffee shop to look away from their drinks. Rose smiled and set her book down, getting up to greet her friend.<p>

Jade's cheeks were flushed and she was bundled heavily against the cold, with a large jade green jacket (because with her name, what other choice of green did she have), matching mittens, and a flower-patterned scarf Rose had knitted for her the year before. "I'm here!" she managed to gasp out.

Picking up her coffee and purse, the two of them started walking. "Did you run all the way here?" Rose asked.

"Well, I thought I was going to be late…" Jade looked slightly sheepish as she pulled off her mittens and tucked them into her bag. "I was working a new project and got sidetracked. Also, it's so cold! I don't see how you can walk all the way to the mall."

"It would be a waste to drive, given how I live so close." Rose sipped her coffee; she wasn't sure if it was good for hangovers, but her stomach was still churning and couldn't handle food, so coffee it was. Although maybe tea would've been a better choice. Sometimes she delved too far into cliches for her own good. Thankfully she had managed to clean herself up and down more Advil than was advisable, making her the picture of sophistication and put-togetherness, and punctual to boot.

"It's too cold," Jade complained. She was a warm-weather girl and dislike the cold weather that winter brought, although Rose had never seen her object to playing around in the snow all the years that they had known each other. "And the garden starts dying too and… well, you know. Seasons and all that."

"I know," Rose responded, because she did know how Jade hated when the flowers went away and the nights turned dark and how it was so hard for her to keep cheerful, even though she somehow managed it. Ease came from their long friendship, and Rose was able to take the statement as it was, and let it rest comfortably between them. "Well then, where do you want to go first?"

"Not the bookshop," Jade said, giving Rose a playful poke. "You always spend way too much time there."

"And you spend far too much looking through gardening supplies," Rose replied, smiling slightly. "I say we compromise. Have thought of your Secret Santa shopping yet?"

Jade shook her hair, her long, dark hair falling over her shoulders. "I haven't even really thought about that yet!"

"Understandable." Rose checked her watch, trying to determine how much time they had to shop. "Well, my case is exceptionally easy- I got Karkat, and I know exactly where to find the most enticing, trashiest romance novels in the bookstore. So we'll need to make a stop by there at some point, but until then, we can just window shop. Unless you had something in mind?"

Jade shook her head. "I just kind of like browsing with you." she said, flashing Rose a buck-toothed grin. Rose smiled back.

The mall was busy with people, so Jade and Rose wove in and out of the crowds. Really, it was just as fun looking at the mall itself as it was looking at the products- every store was decked out in some lights or some Christmas-y style, and there were ornaments and candy canes everywhere. There was even a mall Santa and several elves set up, and they contemplated on visiting him before deciding against it. Dave often did it for either the sake of irony or some sort of dare, and neither of them were quite as good as freaking out the mall Santas as he was.

So instead the two of them spent a good hour or so, looking through various stores. Their styles of dressing were quite different- Jade leaned more towards cuter things in general, while Rose liked dressing in a more sleek way. Or something like that- both of them had a mild interest in fashion, but Kanaya was the one who was in love with it, and had taken no time to inform the two of them of their own personal styles. Rose just went with her girlfriend's obsession with all things style; God knows Kanaya had to put up with just as much weird stuff from her.

Together, the two of them proved to be an effective shopping team. They advised each other on what to buy, but Jade wasted no time in telling Rose that she didn't need to buy anymore clothes at the moment, given that her floor was covered in them, and Rose made sure to drag Jade away from the video games that she was ogling, because she hadn't even finished her Pokemon games yet so why did she think she needed more? It was moments like those that reminded Rose just why she went wandering aimlessly around the mall with Jade so often.

By the time they were finishing up (Jade had suggested going to the food court to which Rose had quickly declined, her stomach not quite yet settled) Rose was fully prepared to immerse herself in books, as the bookshop was last on their way. However, just as they were only a few paces away from it, Jade got distracted.

"Rose, Rose, look! Oh my God, they're so cute?"

"What?" Rose turned around to see Jade was crouching in front of a pet store, looking at a litter of puppies displayed up front. A handwritten sign declared that they were open to petting, and Jade gave Rose a look that perfectly matched the puppies'.

"All right, we can pet them." Rose said. Jade let out a happy cheer and the two of them went into the shop. Rose could feel the bookstore calling to her, but convinced herself it wasn't that bad. The small animals were adorable, and there might've even been cats there. She'd always been partial to cats, after all.

The two girls were crouching down to pet puppies when a loud voice proclaiming, "Jade! Rose!" rang throughout the tiny shop and one arm was thrown over each of them.

"Hey, Feferi!" Jade said, halting the scratching of the puppy's belly for a moment to smile up at their friend. Her long, wavy hair cascaded down the back of her work uniform, and her grin was large as usual.

"Hello, Feferi." Rose said. "I didn't know that you worked here?" To be honest, she didn't know that Feferi worked at all- the Peixes family was easily one of the richest in town, and with her and her sister being set to inherit the whole operation, Rose knew for a fact that Feferi was not in want of spending money.

Feferi seemed to pick up on that, and nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I just got a job here recently! Mostly because I love working with the fish, but the puppies are cute too, aren't they?" She picked up the one that Jade had been petting and gave it a quick nuzzle. The dog seemed completely used to her, and even gave her a lick on the cheek.

"Do they have names?" Jade asked, staring at Feferi with bright eyes. The other girl set the puppy down and put a finger on her chin, thinking.

"Well, we let the customers name them when they buy them, but sometimes we give them unofficial names." Feferi gave a friendly pat to a black-and-white spotted puppy. "Do you want to name one?"

"Can I?" Jade asked, gasping in excitement. She had an affinity for naming things; something she and Rose shared. When they were younger they would get together and name their Squiddles, the naming process taking up most of the time. "Hm, let me think for a moment…"

Rose watched the two of them talking. Jade and Feferi had always gotten along splendidly, possibly because of their friendliness and easily compatible personalities and interests. However, recently Rose had been noticing a change in their mannerisms that indicated something more than friendship, at least on Jade's side. Rose couldn't analyze Feferi as well, given that they weren't as close, but watching the two of them fuss over the puppies, she decided maybe it she should leave them alone.

"Jade," Rose said, bringing the other girl's attention from the dogs furiously licking at her hands. "I think I'm going to head over to the bookstore now, if that's okay with you?"

"Are you sure you don't want to stay?" Feferi asked, looking up as well.

"I can tell that you're suffering from book withdrawal, so go on then." Jade said, smiling. "I'll meet you there later, okay?"

"Of course. Have fun." Both Feferi and Jade called out good-byes as Rose exited the store.

Somehow she felt as though her headache had lightened.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okaaay, so I was only a day behind and thought, I'll just update twice as fast! … and then finals happened. Argh. I'm going to be working hard on this to get it out before Christmas, so stay tuned.**

**Just a quick note: there is never enough sappy clichéd Johndave for this author. And also, my love for Jadefef is as massive as two suns and cannot be contained.**

**Thanks to everyone who's read, reviewed, etc.!**

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><p>As Dirk gave John a tour of their local otaku-themed shop, John realized two things: one, that Dirk's speaking mannerisms, when he employed them, were scarily similar to Dave's. And two, Dirk was a genius when it came to anime.<p>

John knew his way around some anime- he loved Pokemon, of course, and delved into some of the more popular animes, but it was nothing compared to Dirk's encyclopedic knowledge. He could recognize every character on the posters hanging from the walls, and tell John from which episode a figurine's particular armor was modeled. Then again, that might've just been Dirk being a normal genius, since he was one of those as well.

Following up on Dave's advice, John had made his way over to the Strider household just as they were about to leave. As fortune would have it, Dirk had been intending to go the very same anime store they were currently in- Momosomething-or-the-other. And he'd been more than happy to provide advice on what to get Damara, as they were both in the anime club and he knew her interests fairly well.

"She's into magical girls," Dirk explained, his monotone changing only slightly as he talked more about one of favorite subjects. "Sailor Moon and all that. You know Sailor Moon?"

"The one with the two balls on her head and the really short skirt?"

"That's the one. So I would suggest getting something with that theme." Dirk pointed at a wand-looking thing with a moon on the end of it. "I would recommend one of these. They're pretty awesome and also, they light up. Guaranteed."

"Uh, you wouldn't happen to own one yourself, would you?"

"Dude, I can see that you're on the precipice of judging me extra hard, so I'll just have you know that Sailor Moon is great. And so is this wand. Trust me, I know these things." Dirk tapped the box. "Also, I know Damara would love it. So take my advice or don't, but this is the way to go. Anyway, they just got a new shipment of merchandise, so I've gotta check that out. Just ask if you want any more help." He shoved the box into John's arms before turning and heading over to another part of the store.

John sighed and stared down at the box in his hands. It was covered in Japanese writing, but the price was pasted in Arabic numerals right on the top. It was fairly cheap, and actually looked to be in good quality for a wand made for children, based upon a show for little girls. Also, if he couldn't trust Dirk on something anime-related, then he really couldn't trust anyone.

_Might as well buy it now, while I can._

John made his way to the front counter. The shop was brightly lit and colorfully decorated, and had a welcoming feeling even if John didn't know who half the characters were, and why most of the females had skirts that were probably illegal to wear to school (or armor that was more like chain mail bikini). The cashier, too, was all smiles as she rang up his purchase, wearing cat ears for some inexplicable reason.

Once he had the Sailor Moon wand in tow, John scanned the outside of the store for Dave or Jake. The two of them had decided to go the video game shop next door, probably so that Jake could drool over the newest Lara Croft game (someone he considered to be something of a role model). And almost as though the thought had summoned him up, while turning in the general direction of that store, John found himself running straight into Jake.

"Easy there, chum," Jake said, steadying John. Once the two of them were on their feet again, Jake peered at John's purchase, his green eyes bright behind his glasses. "Ah, what's this?"

"Oh, you know, the Secret Santa thing..." John held it up for Jake to get a better look, and the older nodded.

"You made a great choice!" Jake said enthusiastically. John squinted at him.

"Was that sarcasm or some form of irony?" he asked.

"What- no! I assure you, I actually do find this to be something Damara would enjoy- Sailor Moon is quite the admirable lass. Not that I think Dirk would ever lead you wrong when it came to the heroines of his magical girl animes."

"Oh, okay." John lowered the box sheepishly. "Sorry, I've just been having a hard time determining sincerity… I think it's because of Dave and all of his irony stuff? I can't tell if he's joking or serious or trolling me which I guess is kind of the same thing but-"

"John." John paused mid-sentence as Jake placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him the most serious look John had ever seen from him. "Say no more. I know exactly what you're going through, all this irony and whatnot entangled with actual genuine-ness. I don't know what I've been twiddling my thumbs for recently, but the time has come. You need to learn how to seduce a Strider."

"Wait, what?" John stared at Jake, who was nodding solemnly and looking entirely serious.

"It's hard, I know. If Dave is anything like Dirk you'll have no idea what he's feeling half the time and if he actually wants to make out with you or not, even if he implies it most of the time."

John had no idea where to start untangling the mess of words Jake was currently spewing, so instead he zeroed in on one thing. "Who said I wanted to make out with Dave? Or Dave wanted to make out with me? I don't even know anymore!"

Jake blinked. "Am I wrong? I thought that was common knowledge."

"Where are you getting this information from?"

"Just my own intuition, you know, a connection between two men. And Dave and Dirk are so similar I can tell when he's throwing out subtle hints that suggest flirting."

"No offense," John began. "but I don't know if I can trust any of your advice, considering you, Jake, are one of the most oblivious people I know. You cannot take a hint, like at all."

"I take offense to that!" Jake responded indignantly. "I'm not nearly as ignorant as you suggest."

"But you kind of are."

"Hear me out," he said. "For example, I don't know if you've noticed, but whenever you show up into a room or something Dave gets this kind of look."

"A look."

"Yes, a look. Somewhat tense but happy too? And when you were off talking to Aranea's younger sister the other day… hoo boy, he did not look pleased."

John was on the verge of face-palming. "Jake, please, no matter how much of this is right or wrong, you really can't speak on _any_ of this. You flirt with Aranea all the time, right in front of Dirk too."

Jake look scandalized. "I would _never_! She has a girlfriend!"

"Okay, so maybe you're not flirting intentionally, but trust me Jake. The way you act towards pretty much everybody can be defined as flirtatious."

Jake's face turned crestfallen. "Really?"

John nodded solemnly. "Yeah. That's why everybody hits on you all the time." _And because you wear your shorts rolled up way too high, but I'll tell him that later. _

"Well, I…" Jake blinked. "Wait, I'm supposed to be giving you advice! I'm not about to be hoodwinked into discussing my… flirting habits, I suppose?"

"I'm just saying, Dave could love me in a total bro-way and you could just be reading way too far into this, as you're kind of known for missing the point."  
>"No, no John." Jake drew himself up, looking determined. "You may be right about me not noticing certain things sometimes, but I have not a shadow of doubt about this. You and Dave are meant to be, and by golly if I'm not going to get you two together! I am a regular Cupid, after all."<p>

"Jake-"

"There he is! Go on, go on." Jake nudged John in the direction of Dave, who had just emerged from the video game store and was looking around for the rest of the group. Jake's shove turned out to be surprisingly forceful, and John nearly ran straight into the blond.

"Why do I keep running into people?" John complained as he regained balance. "First Jake and now you…"

"It's because this store is a shrine to lolis," Dave explained, gesturing to the bright-eyed anime characters. "You're channeling your inner moe and tripping all over your senpais."

"I'll never get this anime stuff," John shook his head.  
>"It's an art." Dave replied. "Anyway, did Jake push you right now? What was that for?"<p>

John shrugged, feigning confusion. "Who knows what he's thinking."

"Dude, what are you talking about? The two of you are basically twins."  
>"What? Seriously?"<p>

"Yeah, you act the same, have the same taste… Man, you even look the same sometimes."

John frowned. "If that's true then you and Dirk are twins too."

"No way."

John glanced over his shoulder, to where Dirk had emerged from the store carrying a tiny figurine of some turquoise-hair anime chick wearing a tie. He was smiling at Jake as the other talked enthusiastically and with copious hand gestures.

As if he could feel John's gaze, Jake turned and flashed him the most unsubtle thumbs up John had ever seen. John quickly turned back to Dave, who was mumbling under his breath- either rap lyrics or snarky commentaries on the outfits of people passing by.

'_Who said I wanted to make out with Dave? Or Dave wanted to make out with me?' Argh, he's getting into my head now! What does Jake know? Dirk practically had to stick his hands down his pants before Jake picked up on his enormous gay crush._

…_.a look, Jake said. He was wrong about one thing. I'm the one with the enormous gay crush, and I'm screwed._

* * *

><p>"Here you go," Feferi said, flashing a smile at the little girl as she handed her a huge bag of rabbit food. Her mom helped stabilize her and mouthed a quick 'thank-you' as the two of them made their way out the door.<p>

Feferi leaned on the counter, smiling. She loved her 'job' at the pet store- it was really just volunteer work. She didn't just work the cash register though; no one knew more about aquariums than the Peixes family, and under her watch, all the fish and their tanks were in shipshape. The rest of the job was great too, not just because she loved animals, although that was part of it. Really, it was more that Feferi liked being around people in general, and seeing how happy they were when they got their dog a new toy or bought an adorable pet hamster. That kind of happiness was almost contagious.

Such was the case with Jade. Feferi looked over to the litter of puppies. More people were gathered around them, but Jade was still in the center, looking completely entranced by the puppies and their antics. Feferi had left several minutes ago to work the cash register, but Jade had seemed perfectly fine with the dogs for company. She really was dog-crazy. It was cute.

Checking to make sure no one else needed her at the moment (there was only a few people gathered near Jade, and a teenage boy inspecting leashes) Feferi went back over to Jade, crouching beside the dark-haired girl. "I think Bec's going to be jealous!"

"Huh?" Jade looked up. "Oh, hey! No, he's fine. I mean, he can be protective, but…" the dog licked Jade's face and she laughed slightly. "I'd make sure to give everybody an equal amount of attention."

"I'm shore you would!" Feferi responded. "Are you going to buy one?"

"Oh, no, not now." Jade said, her face dropping slightly. "Grandpa thinks Bec is enough, and he is probably right."

"Maybe your Secret Santa will get you one? That would be reely great idea!" Feferi suggested. Jade shook her head and laughed slightly.

"That would be, but I don't think so- wait." Jade's eyes were wide. "Do _you _have me?"

Feferi shook her head. "No, but if I did, I wouldn't tell you! That's the whole fun in a Secret Santa, after all. It's more exciting that way!"

"Yeah, but people still do it." Jade said. "I think John has told pretty much everybody he knows already."

"Well, it hasn't reached me yet," Feferi replied with a toss of her hair. "Although believe me, I've already heard enough from other people." She looked down at her watch, which was bright pink and had an anchor on the watch face. "Oh, wow, it's time to feed the fish again. Sorry I keep leaving, it's busy today!"

"Actually, I think I'll come with you. I'm sure the puppies can survive for a bit." Jade smiled and got up from where she was crouching. "They're really cute, though. Oops- I mean, _reely _cute, sorry."

"Glub yes!" Without even thinking, Feferi tackled her in a hug. Nothing made her happier than when someone used fish puns with her. It was like channel to her heart- a water channel, that is.

"Hehe," Jade adjusted her glasses from where Feferi had knocked them off balance and followed the other girl to the aquarium tanks in the back. Feferi was literally skipping, for no other reason than that she was supremely excited. It didn't take much to get her excited, after all, and feeding the fish with Jade was one of the moments.

Jade watched as Feferi fed the fish, even doing so herself once the other girl had showed her how. The tanks seemed clean enough, so Feferi left them alone and went to go help a customer at the register. By the time this was done, Feferi realized her it was time for her lunch break. She also realized that Rose hadn't returned from the bookstore, which wasn't much of a surprise. The blonde was probably absorbed in some book, and wouldn't be done for awhile. This planted an idea in Feferi's mind- one that, for some reason, also served a sense of nervousness in her stomach.

Waiting for her, Jade was standing by the fish tank, watching the brightly colored fish swim by and probably giving them names as she did so. Feferi approached her, unsure how to deal with the sudden shyness (a complete deviation from her normal, bubbly personality) and began to speak.

"Hey, Jade, my lunch break is coming up, so would you-" As if fate had timed the moment, Feferi's phone went off. She wasn't much for cursing, but in that moment the words she was saying in her head were those of the sailor. Obviously.

Feferi would've been perfectly content to let the call pass until she glanced down and saw who it was from. _Sollux. Really, is it that urgent or can a girl just have some privasea-_

Her phone stopped ringing, and Jade glanced down at it, then back at Feferi. "What were you saying?" she asked.

"Well, I-" Her phone started ringing again, and it was Sollux this time too. Of course, he would have to call twice. Him and his glubbing obsession with duality. But if Sollux was calling twice, then it had to be serious. "Ugh, sorry Jade! But I'm going to have to take this. Just give me a second, I'll have it done in a splash!"

Since her lunch break had started and the other employee had come in to work the register, Feferi made her way into the back room. She wasn't too pleased at being interrupted, but couldn't bring herself to get mad at Sollux for too long. "Hi Sollux, what is it?"

"FF, thank God you answered. It's him."

Feferi sighed. She knew immediately that he was referring to Eridan, since that was practically Sollux's name for him. It wasn't very nice, but she couldn't exactly argue. Much as she loved Eridan, he could difficult sometimes. Especially to Sollux. But that was a whole other can of worms. Or tuna. Bait worms maybe? It could be so hard to make fish puns swing sometimes.

"What did he do?"

"I hate his face."

"I know."

"Really."

"I know you do, Sollux."

"Oh God, I want to make out with him."

"I know that too. What's with all of this out of the blue?" _And at the exact moment that I _don't _have time to pay attention to it… _"Have you two been making waves?"

"I got him for the Secret Santa."

"Sollux!" Feferi exclaimed.

"What?"

"You're not supposed to tell me! You're not supposed to tell _anyone! _It ruins the surprise!"

"As long as I don't have you it doesn't matter, though…?"

"Yes, it does! Does nobody know how a Secret Santa works around here?"

"It really doesn't matter, FF." Sollux sighed into the phone. "Sorry for telling you, but I don't care if you know that I have Eridan. And you won't say anything, right?"

"Of course not." Feferi shook her head impatiently. "I'm just done with people telling me who they have. It drains all the fun out of it!"

"Nah, our pool is big enough where it's still random and hard to guess who has who." Feferi smiled at his use a water pun, and then decided to concede.

"All right, you're back in my good books now. Go on then," She knew what the bulk of the matter was about. In fact, Feferi had been privy to both sides of the story- she'd listened to both Eridan and Sollux recount their hatecrushes on each other and had been a romantic counsel to them. It was only icing on the top of the cake that they had gotten each other in the Secret Santa exchange. When Eridan had told Feferi, she'd been half-convinced in Gamzee's miracles. After all, to her, it seemed like an excellent romantic opportunity. It was quite the opposite to both Eridan and Sollux, probably because their relationship was one founded on insults, hate, and a boat-ton of unresolved sexual tension.

_Wow, _were they hard to have as best friends sometimes.

"FF, you're the only one I can talk to right now because I'm agonizing over this like some schoolgirl and it's embarrassing."

"I'm glad to listen!"

"It's just, this would be a good time to… confess? God, that sounds so embarrassing."

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea." Feferi tried to glance through the door to see if Jade was still there. She'd had practically the same conversation with Eridan and thus, her responses came out almost without thinking.

"I wish I could just stamp a heart on my fist and then punch him in the face. Will that work?"

"Don't do that, Sollux! I've already had to separate you guys enough."

"But then what do I even get him? Seriously, I mean."  
>"Sollux, why are you asking me? You're always hanging around together, you should have some ideas!"<p>

"Yeah, but I'd get him some inflatables as a joke. But I don't want to mess this up, so I need your help. Please, FF."

"Fine, fine." Feferi leaned back, trying to think seriously. "Whale, I think…"

There was a tapping on the door, and Feferi looked up to see Jade poking her head into the storage room, the other employee presumably having let her in. "Pssst, hey, Feferi!"

"Yeah?" Feferi lowered her phone.

"Rose just came back, and I think she wants to go back. So I have to go now, sorry!"

Feferi felt disappointment sink through her chest. She'd been so close… "Oh, that's okay. I'll probably be awhile anyway!" She tried her best to smile, and Jade flashed on right back at her.

"Great! I'll text you later, bye!" the dark-haired girl turned and left, and Feferi watched her go, rather let down. Sighing, she pressed the phone back to her ear.

"You still there?"

"Yeah…"

She could almost feel Sollux frowning on the other end. "What's the matter? You sound kind of disappointed."

Feferi considered briefly over telling him about her relationship troubles, but then thought better of it. She could save that for later. "Never mind."

"Okay, so…."

She continued to listen to him, although in truth she was only half-listening (well, Sollux would get a kick out of that) and instead thinking more on how she should definitely get on calling Jade later.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here, have some fluffy Mitula/Meuloz or whatever you even call that ship. Take in the fluffy Dancestors because the rest of them (bar one a couple) are probably going to be angstier. **

**Also, I headcanon Mituna as having a much thicker lisp than Sollux, although it only comes out when he's emotional. Which I guess is a lot. But I find it to be annoying when every single sentence from the Captors consists of lisping, so I tried to keep it to a minimum this time. **

* * *

><p>"Oh man," Latula said, flipping her hair from her eyes as she walked out of the front for of the school. She was thankful in that moment for her red shades, because the sun was <em>bright<em> reflecting off the snow and probably blinding to those who didn't have them. Well, not literally, because that would be ableism or some other BS Kankri liked to spew. Latula didn't really buy into all of that- Terezi had never objected to a blind joke before.

"Oh _man_." she repeated. "MT, do you hear that?"

Mituna looked up from beside her, where he'd been trying to play on his DS and walk at the same time, a combination that would most certainly result in injury. "What?"

"That sound. You know what it is? It's my brain frying. Those exams have killed me, I'm not even kidding."

"I know!" he said, finally looking up from his DS, although his hair still obscured most of his vision. "And I still have history tomorrow." Mituna's lisp started coming out as he got more and more aggravated. "I can't remember all the dateth Tulip, I can't!"

"Nah Tuna, you've totes got this." Latula tried to sound encouraging, but in reality she was thinking over her own exams she had the next day. The prospects were not looking great, and she knew she was probably going to be subjected to another night of studying and self-loathing.

That was as depressing as it got, and in that moment Latula decided she wasn't going to stand for it.

"Hey, Tuna, we should totally do something."

"Do what?"

"Instead of just studying all night, we should do something. Get our energy out, y'know? I can't stand studying all night, it's cramping my style."

"Me too," Mituna agreed. The two of them had reached the school parking lot and were standing by Latula's car. Too many medical bills to afford one combined with the fact that Mituna should probably never to operate a car made it so that Latula, more days than not ended up taking both him and Sollux to school along with Terezi. On days their two younger siblings could hitch rides with other people (or days such as that one, where Sollux had chess club, the nerd) it also made for a great makeout spot. "What do you wanna do?"

Latula thought for a moment before grinning slightly. "Well, TZ and I found this awesome hill, and I have the raddest sled at home..."

" Yeah!" Mituna cheered. However, a thought seemed to occur to him as all the excitement drained from his face. "Wait. Dad said I'm not thuppothed to do anything rithky anymore after what happened..." He was of course referring to the broken wrist incident. Mituna was not exactly the epitome of coordination and over the years had collected a number of bruises and scrapes to show for it. His broken wrist, however, was a product of extreme clumsiness. He'd seen Latula at the bottom of an icy staircase and, in his excitement, had gone down a bit too fast. Predictably, he had slipped and since then sported a broken wrist that made his already awful handwriting even more illegible. Between the two of them, Mituna and Latula liked to pretend that he'd broken it in some epic way, like punching Cronus in the nose, even when nothing could be further from the truth.

Unfortunately, Mituna's father, protective as he was, took the incident as an indicator that Mituna should not participate in anything remotely dangerous ever. And sledding with Latula definitely fell under that category. Because when Latula went sledding, she went _sledding_. As with her skateboarding, Latula was fond of doing off the chain and probably dangerous things with a sled, if a sled was even capable of such. And under her control, it was.

So when she'd thought of sledding, it hadn't been on some quaint, snow-covered hill. No, Latula's mind had gone to the tallest, most ice-covered hill she knew of. It simply wasn't radical to do things in small measures; it was in the definition after all. And as far as she was concerned, as long as she steered and Mituna was laying on top of her, holding on tight, then everything would be fine.

But she didn't want to go against Mr. Captor's wishes or get Mituna injured again- it was always a possibility- so Latula decided to tone it down a bit. For his sake. "Do you think you could do a small hill? I was thinking the one by the park, but there's one by my house that's cool too-"

"By the park?" Mituna perked up. "I know that one, it'th so big! I wanna do that one, pleathe can we do that one, pleeee-"

"Hey, don't ask me." Latula said, unlocking the car door. "I'm totally down with doing a small hill 'cause your dad said so, but-"

"No!" Mituna exclaimed. "He doesn't hafta to know about this, Tulip, okay?"

"Your secret's safe with me, babe." Latula replied, placing a finger on her lips. Then she inserted her keys and began to rev the engine. "This is gonna be great."

* * *

><p>"Aww yes." Latula proclaimed, the cold wind whipping her hair back. She and Mituna had just finished the climb up the hill they'd chosen for sledding- henceforth known as <em>the <em>hill. It was tall, (quite a task to climb) coated in ice and snow, and absolutely perfect. She felt like yelling something inspiring, "Screw the posers!" maybe.

"Thith…" Mituna was panting slightly. "Thith ith awethome!" Now he was lisping from excitement rather than frustration, and Latula thought it was too adorable.

The top of the hill was empty, but the bottom, near the park, was crowded with kids. Most of them stuck to the smaller hills- it seemed only Latula and Mituna had mustered up the bravery to sled down the largest hill in town. That, or they were stupider than a bunch of 6th graders.

"Okay MT, this is how we're going to do it." Latula set the sled in front of them. It was the traditional kind, steerable and with metal runners- no trash bags or refrigerator boxes for the Pyropes. She and Terezi had spray painted it teal (Terezi had wanted to make it bright red, because that tasted the best, but teal had been a compromise) and made a dragon in the center, with flames running up and down the sides. It was their pride, their joy, and Latula was going to make sure it got taken on the greatest joyride ever. "I'm going to be steering, so I get to sit in front and you sit behind me, okay? Make sure to give us a kick-off first, though!"

"Yeah!" Mituna said. He was practically bouncing in excitement and she could barely see him over his thick yellow coat and bee hat Sollux had given him the year before.

"'Kay, let's go!" Latula settled herself on the sled. A few seconds later, Mituna hopped on beside her, giving a strong kick to push them off.

They were off almost immediately; the runners cut beautifully through the ice and sent them at a breakneck pace down the hill. Mituna gripped Latula's waist tightly as they shot down the hill, letting out a loud, "Woo-hoo!" His screams were somewhat muffled as her hair flew back right into his face, unconstrained by her teal beanie.

Latula was screaming too, caught up in the exhilaration of the moment as they bounced over the ice, full speed down the hill. However, halfway through she remembered that she wasn't just along for the ride; she had a responsibility, and that was to steer.

While it seemed as though the sled would go from top to bottom of the hill in a relatively straight line, that turned out to not be the case as the sled started to swerve to the left. "Tulip!" Mituna shouted in her ear, his voice almost lost with the wind. "Go right! Right!"

She fumbled for the handle, jerking it as far right as she could. The snowbank bordering the side of the hill leered up at them, and Latula thought that it was too late, until the sled took a sharp turn and skidded right.

Unfortunately, that was hardly any better than going left. The sled tipped on its side from the sudden shift in direction and, in its imbalance, nearly flipped Latula and Mituna over. They both tumbled off the sled, going in different directions while the sled itself continued on to the bottom of the hill, only a few paces away.

Latula rolled over the ice, feeling its cold soak into her jacket. There was a thin layer of snow under the ice, and more snowflakes fell, threading her eyelashes and creating a constellation on her nose. She lay there for a few moments, staring up at the clear winter sky and soaking in the complete radness of what had just happened.

Then she remembered Mituna.

"Hey, Tuna!" she called, sitting up and adjusting her beanie. She glanced around the bottom of the hill for her boyfriend. "Hey, B1! Honeybee! Where you at?"

"Over here, Tulip!" Latula turned to see Mituna sitting in a snowbank, looking somewhat dazed. She ran over to him, taking care not to slip on the ice.

"Oh my God, Tuna, are you okay?" she asked. Latula had been anticipating a mostly smooth ride down the hill, and hadn't even considered how bad it would've been if Mituna had fallen on his broken wrist. "Did you hurt your wrist?"

"Nope!" Mituna held up his wrist; the brace was still intact and he appeared to be in no pain whatsoever. In fact, he was grinning. "That was _wicked_!"

Latula grinned back, relieved. "You're telling me! Up top!" she held up her hand for a high-five, and Mituna delivered. They had mastered the art of perfect high-fives, and this was no exception.

For a few moments the two of them sat there in the snow, both of their jackets soaked through and both of them panting from the adrenaline rush. There were two options. They could either trek back up the hill and do the whole thing over again. As for the second option…

It took Latula two seconds to register what was going on before Mituna had taken her face in his mittened hands and kissed her. His lips were cold, but she didn't mind, the same way she didn't mind the way the wet snow seeped into her clothes as they both fell back into a snowbank, laughing and going in for another kiss. The sled lay forgotten at the bottom of the hill, to be picked up later.

At the moment, they were far too distracted.

* * *

><p>As cliched as it might've sounded, Meulin loved winter.<p>

She loved the snow, especially when it came to building snowmen. She and Nepeta had a long-standing tradition of creating snow-cats, sculpting little kitty ears for them (sometimes even placing their own on the cats' snow heads for added effect) and using sticks for whiskers. Then they would have a giant battle and obliterate each others' cats until they were both victorious.

She loved making cookies. Most of her cookies had a cat theme, as did her snowmen, but she wasn't above making her favorite ships into cookies, either. She and Horuss had gotten together that year to bake, and she had used his extensive collection of decorating tools to create some truly glorious scenes of her OTPs- some of which bordered on R-18, causing Horuss to sweat profusely. She had decided to keep those for herself, and went back to making adorable cats.

She loved the decorations and the music (which she could actually hear, thanks to her cochlear implant) and the way she could dress, layering skirts and tights and cute scarves. And most of all, she loved giving gifts.

When Nepeta had told her that Karkat and John were putting together a Secret Santa, Meulin had been all over the idea. She loved making gifts for her friends, usually in the form of fanart or fanfiction, both of which she was exceptionally skilled in. A Secret Santa only facilitated the act- now instead of working hard on a gift for each of her friends and family members, Meulin could focus on one person. She was still planning on giving gifts to the rest of her friends, but she was going to focus most of her effort on one person.

And this year, that person was Rufioh. Meulin had been quite pleased to see that she had gotten him; they were already fairly good friends, and she'd had a few ideas already. He loved Pokemon and various animes, which provided fodder for various ships, all of which she could depict for him through fanfiction or some form of fanart.

Also, she shipped him and Horuss quite a bit. Some might say that shipping real people was strange, but for Meulin, it was a easy as breathing. She was a regular matchmaker and had good instincts for possible ships. And she definitely felt something between him and Horuss. However, given that Rufioh and Damara were still together and yet at the same time not, Meulin had decided to leave well enough alone.

Still, she would try her best in dispersing mistletoe, maybe to give her best friend something of a Christmas miracle.

At the moment, Meulin was waiting outside of school, scanning the heads of the exiting students for Kurloz. He was so tall that he towered above the other students, so Meulin saw him coming from quite a ways away. When she saw his wavy, uncontrollable hair from above the crowds of students, she started waving enthusiastically.

While she had been planning on making Rufioh something herself, Kurloz had decided on purchasing a gift for his Secret Santa. He'd gotten Rose, and had only told Meulin because John had said not to "tell" anybody and as Kurloz was mute, that would've been quite a challenge for him to tell anybody anything. Rather, he'd signed it, which was not a direct violation of the rules (although Meulin had her doubts that anybody honestly cared that much about the "rules" for a casual Secret Santa). Meulin had decided to tag along with Kurloz for when he went shopping, as it was an act enjoyable for the both of them.

Kurloz made his way over to Meulin, signing to her a quick hello. Forgoing greetings, she jumped up to kiss him, a laughable sight with her being so small and him so tall. They'd worked on kissing for quite awhile though, and he caught her easily mid-jump so that it wasn't nearly as awkward.

'_Let's go!' _Meulin signed excitedly, getting into the passenger side of the car and slamming her door, waiting impatiently for Kurloz to get in as well. He settled in slowly, almost amused with her impatience, and started up the car.

It was hard to have a conversation in the car, since Kurloz had to keep his hands on the wheel which prevented him from responding at all. With her cochlear implant, Meulin could always talk aloud; however, she didn't like to do that, as her speaking voice was still afflicted by years of deafness and came out loud, not to mention awkward around some phrasing. Mituna had attempted to comfort her by comparing her speech impairment with his own lisping, which was an undoubtedly sweet gesture, but overall Meulin preferred to sign rather than speak when it was just her and Kurloz. Unfortunately, when it was the two of them in public, sometimes she was forced to speak.

Still, throughout the ride Meulin signed rapidly to Kurloz, telling him of her day, all the ships that she had seen ('_Did you see Mituna and Latula walking out together? They're so cute, I can't stand it!') _and asking him what he was planning on buying Rose. He couldn't respond to any of it, but merely listened and nodded as they made their way to the mall.

Once there, Meulin got swept up in the excitement. Both she and Kurloz disliked large crowds, but it was hard to be unhappy when everything was so festive. Because Meulin _loved _festivity, if it wasn't already clear enough. She was incredibly tempted to drag Kurloz through the mall and point out all of the wonderful displays, but then remembered why exactly they had came.

'_What are you planning on getting for Rose?' _she signed to Kurloz, who took a moment to look thoughtful.

'_A book...' _he replied, before listing off some titles she had never heard before. It made sense though; Rose was known for having an interest in Eldritch abominations and other such things, and Kurloz's own interests were of a rather dark nature, which meant that he probably had a good idea of what she would like.

'_She also seems to like makeup… Meulin, do you know anything about that?' _If Meulin had a cat tail, it would've perked up. That said, she gained a definite brightness in her eyes and a grin spread across her face.

'_Of course I do!' _she said, squealing as well as a deaf girl with an aversion to speaking could squeal. That is to say, internally. _'Let me show you… MOG! I know the best store!' _She took Kurloz's hand and began to drag him through the crowd to one of her favorite stores where she got most of her cosplay makeup.

There she began to show him mascara and eyeliner and lipsticks of all kind. Kurloz was no slacker when it came to makeup- both he and Gamzee used face paint on a daily basis, so he knew the ropes of applying it. But it was clear that he'd never used the kind of makeup Rose liked, as he looked somewhat at a loss as Meulin piled the cosmetics into his arms.

'_Stay here for a moment,' _she signed to him, before leaving the store and giggling slightly at his look of utter confusion as he stood in the center of the cosmetics store. She was just planning on going to the bathroom, so he wouldn't have to be alone for too long.

However, the mall was especially crowded that day, and Meulin found herself with a good amount of difficulty trying to find the bathroom. There were too many people, and too much noise invading her ears. She could've just switched off her cochlear implant, but she was wary to do that without Kurloz around to indicate if someone was speaking to her.

People pressed in on either side of Meulin, and she felt her breaths coming in faster. She was already quite petite, and being surrounded by so many people taller than her was daunting. Too many noises filtered into her mind and much as she tried to suppress it, she could feel panic setting in.

It was strange; before she hadn't really minded the crowds, but that was probably because Kurloz was there, his presence ever-comforting. Now Meulin found herself missing it as she was swept up on either side by the crowds.

"Help-" she found herself choking out before she bit back the words, desperately looking for a way out. This was too much, this was too much of a sensory overload and-

A hand clamped itself on her shoulder, and Meulin could've sworn she jumped several feet in the air. She spun around, muscles immediately relaxing when she saw that it was only Kurloz.

She didn't even have to sign anything; he seemed to take into account her heavier-than-normal breathing and quietly led her through the crowd to where there were less people.

'_Are you okay?' _he signed, and Meulin nodded slowly, fixing her hair and smoothing her skirt, the panic she'd felt earlier already dispersed.

'_I'll walk you to the bathroom,' _Kurloz signed to her, and the two of them made their way back into the crowd, people parting easily for Kurloz because of his height and rather intimidating nature.

They must've looked strange together; her, short and bubbly, bounding ahead in her excitement, and him, tall and lanky and trailing behind almost like her shadow. But they really weren't that different, and it was their similarities that had attracted Meulin to Kurloz- the deaf girl to the mute boy, one of the few people who could speak sign language with the same speed and fluency as she could. It might've seemed like an odd relationship, but at its heart, it really wasn't. It was just two similar, yet different, people that were had fallen heads over heels for each other.

And honestly, it couldn't have been better.


End file.
